Most of the things we do that seem to bring satisfaction are the very things we tend to become creatures of habit to. Whatever works is what we choose to do. For this reason, it becomes vital that we become creatures of habit to the things that help us progress productively. One of those most important habits is the ability to help ourselves.
Sometimes, when we don’t know how to help ourselves, we anxiously turn to others for help. Of course it is only human nature to need one another but it is in the way we take advantage of the help that will impact our own future. The way in which we view help from others will even have a profound impact on our relationships with others and will also affect the authenticity of our being.
Eager to climb the professional ladder, determined to have everything we want, sometimes the desperation of it all can lead to one’s downfall into living a leech-like lifestyle. When the help of another seems to take the stressful load off a bit, either the opportunity of such help will be taken advantage of in a productive way, in which the need is less likely to exist again; or it will be taken advantage of in a way that forms a negatively habitual way of living. How do you know if you’re headed toward a leech-like way of living? Are you quick to get in touch with that family member who just bought a new home with an extra ‘empty’ bedroom or maybe even a steady couch? Do you all of a sudden get ideas for yourself when you come across someone with an extra car in the garage? Do you all of a sudden know everything that needs to be done to help a friend with his or her new-found business venture, now that it’s off the ground running? Do you easily find interest in the large amount of money that somebody else just obtained especially as to how it can help you out?
When the view on life is to live it as easy as possible, the question in mind will always be ‘who can help me?’ ‘What can I get out of this simply for me?’ When you encounter others, your thought immediately goes to ‘how can this person help me?’ Help will always be sought from others and such expectancy becomes a crutch. The habit you eventually become creature to is the belief that you cannot exist independently nor are you ever expected to exist in such a way. What you are doomed to experience is never becoming a productive citizen on your own. However, when your view on life is to not only survive but to also thrive, when you desire to be more and have more than only what is needed, help to you is always accepted as a temporary stepping stone that will soon present benefits for everyone involved. Your thoughts are more geared toward ‘what can I do to better myself?’ ‘What can I do different that will benefit my circumstances going forward?’ ‘WHAT CAN I, MYSELF DO?’
The habit of always looking for a helping hand becomes detrimental to a vision of success. Not only do you become dependent on the help, you also become too dependent on what those same individuals think. Too many ideas always lead to nothing. Our best assistance comes from within. Although it may appear as a blessing when someone else can help you and take away some of the stressful weight in life, the real blessing comes in the ability, after that same opportunity, to avoid ever needing the help again. Because we all are creatures of habit, it is important that we never become too comfortable or dependent only on how others can help us. The habit of dependence has been known to be one of the hardest to break.
Therefore, pay attention to how all of your wonderful plans begin. The difference in outcomes will be determined by the amount of emphasis you place on who all can help you as opposed to your focus on all the things you yourself can do. Always assuming you can’t do things on your own goes hand in hand with the belief you have about your ability to succeed. Always strive to do as much as you can for yourself. Train your thoughts to immediately head in the direction of self-sufficiency. When you do for yourself, when you pay your own way, the debt you owe weighs almost next to nothing. Instead of always asking, ‘Who can help me?’, try living more with the question, ‘What can I do to help myself?’. The rewards in self-sufficiency are endless.
Author of “Life Fulfilled, the Ultimate Goal”