Many women strongly desire someone to love them.  They will do whatever it takes to try and convince a man that she would be the perfect choice.  It doesn't matter if that gentleman is in a relationship, married, broke, or in jail she will take on the man's responsibility just so that she can have someone.  As women we try to manipulate or coerce men into loving us or being with us.  So, we sex them up real good, buy gifts, cook, clean, and tell them things that you know they want to hear.  If he tells you that his wife doesn't do this or that his girl doesn't do that then as women we try to conform or shape ourselves into the mold or woman that he desires.  Look at this scripture:

 

In that day so few men will be left that seven women will fight for each man, saying, 'Let us all marry you!’  We will provide our own food and clothing; Only let us take your name so we won't be mocked as old maids. Isaiah 4:1

 

It's sad that as women we will do anything to get a man to want us.  He told you he didn't want you, he will not return your calls and your walking around sad and depressed, 'why?'  You can't make that man be with you he chose someone else and he has moved on with his life.  Sometimes the men that you are trying to convince that you would be the perfect one weren't good for you anyway. This doesn't make them bad men, they just were not for you.  Accept the truth and move on!

 

The truth is that you can't move on, no matter what someone say, you are determined to get a relationship your own way.  You're divorced, separated, and  or single but you are going to make having a man your goal. When the bible says, 'he who finds a wife finds a good thing,' you must understand that she was a wife before he came.  Meaning that God was grooming her and preparing her to be a wife.  This doesn't mean that God is going to send men into your life so that you can practice on them, 'the devil lied to you,' that is not how God operates. Every man that you meet you enter his life as though you had a sign that said, 'wife for hire.' You immediately try to become his woman, mother his children, move him in, pay for the date, and so on.  No sweetheart you don't have to prove nothing just be the essence of a woman.  If you are going to be honest with anyone let it be yourself.  Let's get to the root cause and discuss what makes us have this dysfunctional thinking.

 

1.       Lord, why am I so determined to make this man or any man want me?

 

2.       How do I think getting him is going to change in my life?

 

3.       What is it about me that makes me call him, have sex with him, cook, clean, buy him things knowing that this is not what I want?

 

4.        Why am I in such a rush for a man that I am willing to settle for anyone?

 

5.       Is it that you are looking for validation, attention, or do you feel incomplete? (explain)

 

6.       Are you looking for someone to love you because your father wasn't around or maybe because he was inactive?

 

I believe this is why so many women are calling men, 'daddy.'  Why would you call someone that you are having sex with daddy?  I believe it's because you long to have a relationship with your father but you feel rejected because he wasn't there for you.  A man can't be a substitute father and neither can he fulfill a void that only God can fill.  The time has come for you stop trying to get someone to love you, and love yourself.  He may not want you, but do you want you?  You have been ignoring the one who loves you unconditionally, the Lord.  I will close with this many years ago, I asked God will my ex-husband ever love me like I want to be loved and God said, 'no but you can love yourself like that.'  This is what it means to learn how to love yourself.

 

Beautifully Speaking,

 

Sonya

 

 If this article blessed you let me know: sonya@wherebeautyisdefined.com

 

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